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Internet Causes Global Warming

Global warming has become an increasingly heated (pun intended) topic of controversy. It's arguably the most important concern for environmentalists and is becoming an increasingly important political issue as some citizens begin to panic.

Many believe global warming is caused by the increase of greenhouse gases. The increase is usually attributed to the industrial advances mankind has made through the years, namely transportation, manufacturing, and other fuel burning processes. Some believe global warming doesn't even exist, that the increase in temperatures and enironmental shifts are all naturally occuring.

Apparently, current theories have all been wrong as the ATNERF (Almost True News Environmental Research Facility) has just release a new report that pin points the real cause of global warming, and it isn't greenhouse gases. The ATNERF researchers have discovered that the true cause is in fact, the internet.

They have shown many figures and graphs showing how the increase in abnormal environmental shifts, namely global warming, match the increase in internet usage around the world. Big spikes in global warming happen at nearly the exact same time as large spikes in internet usage, such as the release of eBay, Google's release of GMail, and the surge caused by the relatively new MySpace. Google has actually been attributed with four of the top 10 spikes in recent years.

A Microsoft representative responded yesterday saying "We find these findings to be quite accurate as we've been studying the same phenomenon. We've always known Google was more evil than us. 'Do no evil' indeed."

Researchers have not yet mentioned any "cures" for this except for people to surf less and watch television more. They also urge gamers to play offline as much as possible.


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